Toddler This Week: 12 Months, Week 2

If your child gets upset when you leave her now, she's right on schedule. Twelve to 18 months is prime time for separation anxiety — a psychological term that means your toddler can't bear to be without you. The best way to handle painful farewells is to keep them short and sweet: Say goodbye with a quick kiss and head out the door. Your toddler's tears will subside soon after you're out of sight. It's hard not to feel guilty, but in the long run you'll help your child become more independent.

Napping is one of the small luxuries for a parent that's built into caring for a baby, especially if you use the downtime to rest and recharge yourself. But as your child rounds the corner of her first year, she may begin to resist taking naps. Not only that, but her growing independence may lead her to make a fuss at bedtime, too.

Following a well-established bedtime routine, which might include a bath or a story, can give her the comfort of knowing what to expect at bedtime and help settle her to sleep.

Whatever you do, make sure you and your toddler have plenty of time to connect and wind down at the end of the day. You may choose to alternate activities with your partner — you do the bath, he reads the story, and so on — each night. Or, to give both of you a break several times a week, try switching nights when you're responsible for putting your toddler to bed.

Another trick to help bedtime go more smoothly is to have a babysitter or relative put your toddler to bed every so often, following the routine that you've established. That way, your toddler will learn to associate bedtime with the routine, and not to be dependent on your presence to drift off to sleep.

Your toddler may start feeding herself with a spoon this month, though her aim won't be the best. Prepare for a little more mess than usual, and let her go at it — using a spoon is a great way for your toddler to improve her hand-eye coordination, exercise her independence, and make mealtime more fun.

Time to add a new appointment to your child's schedule: a first visit to the dentist. The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry and the American Dental Association recommend that you establish a "dental home" for your child around this age. They point out that about 40 percent of children have tooth decay by age 5, and that the rate of tooth decay in baby teeth has not declined as it has in permanent teeth over the last 30 years.

This first visit offers a baseline look at your child's mouth and reveals any problems that your child's doctor may have missed. It also gives the dentist an opportunity to offer pointers on caring for your toddler's budding teeth, preventing cavities, and ensuring the right intake of fluoride. You can stick with your own dentist or choose a pediatric dentist – a specialist with a child-friendly office who's an ace at keeping young children comfortable and relaxed.

At home, continue cleaning your toddler's teeth. You don't really need to use a toothbrush until the second molars (the ones farthest back) come in, typically between 20 and 30 months. Until then, simply wipe the teeth clean before bedtime using wet gauze or a washcloth and water. (To distract your child while you do the job, try giving her a toothbrush to hold.)

You don't even need toothpaste. You can use a fluoride-free baby toothpaste if you like, but don't add fluoridated toothpaste to the routine until at least age 2.

Cow's milk is probably becoming a big part of your child's diet now that she's passed the 12-month mark.

Whole milk is usually the beverage of choice at this age because toddlers need fat to fuel their growth and their considerable energy needs. (Possible exceptions: If you're overweight or obese, or have a family history of obesity, high cholesterol, or cardiovascular disease, your child's doctor may recommend starting with reduced-fat milk.)

At 24 months, your little one can safely switch to low-fat or even nonfat milk. When consumed in moderate amounts, cow's milk has many nutrients a growing toddler needs. Nutritionists recommend that 1-year-olds drink at least 16 ounces of milk a day – but not more than 24 ounces.

Some kids love their milk and the challenge for parents is not to go overboard. A child who drinks more than 24 ounces may fill up on milk and miss out on other foods that are important for a balanced diet.

At the other extreme are toddlers who turn up their nose at cow's milk, at least at first. After all, it has a different texture, taste, and even temperature than breast milk or formula. Parents of reluctant milk-drinkers can try mixing whole milk with some breast milk or formula at first (say, one part whole milk and three parts of his usual stuff). Then slowly increase the amount of milk to 100 percent.

Find out more about introducing cow's milk and what your options are if your child can't or won't drink milk, or if you'd prefer to give her other calcium-rich beverages, such as fortified soy milk.

Parent tip
"I buy children's books for my son and include a sentimental note inside the cover related to the book's subject. Not only will it be a special keepsake for him one day, but it also builds up his library." – Courtney

-BabyCenter.com