Toddler This Week: 14 Months, Week 2

Observe a group of 14-month-olds at the park and you'll note that they're basically loners. Socializing isn't really toddlers' thing, and at this age your child is unlikely to do anything more than engage in parallel play, during which he and his companions play side by side but don't interact — unless it's to grab whatever object another child is playing with.

While this may be frustrating for you, it's completely normal behavior. At this age your child doesn't think of his playmates as friends, or even people; they're objects. Since a 14-month-old is very much the center of his own universe, he thinks other children can be pushed, pulled, and poked the way a toy can. The only thing that really matters — to him — is what he wants. It's not selfishness — it's just the way everyone sees the world at this age.
What you can do
If your child doesn't interact very often with other children, either siblings or friends, this may be a good time to join a playgroup, or sign up for a fun activity such as a tumbling or music class. Exposing your toddler to a variety of social situations will help him become more comfortable interacting with others as he approaches preschool age.

The next time you go to a playground, look for places that your toddler can interact with other children. Here the "toys" belong to everyone, so taking turns is a must. Yes, toddlers may bicker over who gets to go down the slide first or who gets the first turn on the swing, but they'll quickly realize that there's plenty of fun to go around. Or, if you have a friend with a child who's about the same age as yours, you might put the kids into a bathtub or crib together (supervised, of course). In no time, they'll see how much fun it can be to play together.

Have you ever sat and watched a puppy? A puppy will run and roll around willy-nilly, sniff whatever it can, paw or lick anything that comes close. The puppy is playing, but it's also learning about its environment. Toddlers are sort of like puppies in that way. Play is a much more important learning tool than flashcards, "get smart" videos, computer games, and the like. Through play, toddlers learn about shapes, colors, the spaces around them, relationships with siblings and peers. They practice interactive skills with their stuffed dolls and animals. They learn new words (up, down, swing, mine), learn to exercise their imaginations, and get a chance to work out feelings they can't yet verbalize. They learn about fear, for instance, when climbing on a playground structure, or they learn about excitement the when they go down a slide. Play is a toddler's job, and the more yours can do it, the better.

Still afraid of strangers? Being suspicious of anyone who isn't Mom or Dad is fairly common for children this age. With time, your child will likely outgrow this fear (though being cautious around unfamiliar people isn't necessarily a bad thing), but in the meantime, here are a few tips for easing the anxiety:

When your child shies away from a well-meaning "stranger" who wants to give him a hug or a kiss, simply explain to the friend that your child is more comfortable if he's approached slowly.

Hold your child if he seems nervous in the company of unfamiliar people. Your comfort will reassure him that he's in a safe environment.

Expose your child to a variety of people in different situations. Let him see how you talk to strangers at the zoo, the park, the grocery store, etc. It will help him overcome his fears if he sees that sometimes you're comfortable around unfamiliar people.

Never force it. Whenever your child appears fearful around another person, don't push it, even though it may hurt your Great-Aunt Sue's feelings. He'll feel more secure if you comfort him rather than force him to interact. It will also help him learn to trust his own instincts if he is faced with a dangerous situation at some point.

- BabyCenter.com