Toddler This Week: 22 Months, Week4

When your toddler whines for something, you may be tempted to cave in just to make him stop. But it's best to hold your ground – if you can show your toddler that whining won't get him anywhere, he's more likely to try other ways of communicating. When you hear your child whining, gently point it out to him and ask him to use his regular voice. Toddlers don't always know what whining is, and they may not be able to recognize it.

Wondering what kind of toys to give your child for his upcoming birthday? Whatever you choose, be sure to check the boxes or labels to confirm that every item is safe for the under-3 crowd.

Toys labeled for age 3 and up pose a choking hazard or other risks to younger children.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Toys that let kids pretend: play cash registers, brooms and dustpans, phones, toy dishes, toy food, dress-up clothes, trucks, trains and cars, dolls and doll strollers and cradles
• Toys to manipulate: dolls with buttons and zippers, blocks of all types, the toddler version of colorful plastic building bricks
• Action toys: ride-on vehicles, wagons, balls, climbing structures, carts
• Musical toys: Drums, tambourines, xylophones, cymbals
• Books: Your child can never have too many!


Pee or wee or tinkle? Poop or BM? Every family chooses its own lingo for potty training. Choose the words that feel natural to you or that your child's daycare uses (to avoid confusion).

As for what you call the body parts involved, some families introduce words such as "penis" and "vagina" from the beginning while others choose to wait. Eventually you'll want your child to learn the official names for body parts, whether you use them with each other or not.

-BabyCenter.com

At a playdate at Audrey's house, with the girls and Dolly. :)

Toddler This Week: 22 Months, Week 3

It's too soon to sign your toddler up for formal music instruction (experts say it's best to wait until your child is at least 3). But in the meantime, your toddler may enjoy attending an early music program or bopping to music at home. Cheerful, simple songs like "Baa Baa Black Sheep" and "Mary Had a Little Lamb" are easiest for your toddler to sing. You may even catch her making up little ditties herself, especially before dropping off to sleep or when riding in the car.

What's the best way to get your 22-month-old to try new foods? Keep on serving them. Even if he refuses to touch, much less taste, what's on his plate, exposure is the name of the game. It can take ten or 20 or more exposures to a new food before a toddler will consent to try it, nutritionists say.

Keep portions small so they're less intimidating. Try serving refused foods in a different format: A broccoli spear looks very different from, say, broccoli in cheese sauce or a soufflé. Never force your child to taste something or clean his plate. You want him to develop pleasant associations with mealtimes. Besides, nobody likes everything.

Don't expect perfect table manners at this point. Smelling it, handling it, and smearing it are some of the ways your child gets acquainted with a new food.

Hand washing is the number one way to protect your family from illnesses like colds and flu. You can cut down on germs around your home – and make your life a little easier – by giving your child his first lessons in this important skill. Put a step stool in front of the sink so he can reach the faucet and show him how to turn it on and off. A bar of soap may be easier for small hands to manipulate than a pump dispenser. Fine-motor skills are still developing so he'll need your help and supervision for quite some time.

Demonstrate how to get the suds all over his hands and then rinse. It takes 20 seconds of scrubbing to kill the germs that need to be killed. One way to make sure he soaps up for long enough: Have him rub his hands while you sing the ABC song and rinse when you get to the end. Reduce the chance of scalding by setting your hot water heater to no higher than 120 degrees Fahrenheit.

To further banish bugs, start teaching your child to cough or sneeze into his elbow rather than into the open air or his hands – just don't expect him to master it yet.

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 22 Months, Week 2

"Me do it!" is a frequent refrain among 22-month-olds. As your toddler becomes more self-aware, he'll likely want to do more things for himself. Setting limits is important, but you can let your toddler take the lead sometimes, like choosing which clothes to wear (even if it means a mismatched outfit), wetting the toothbrush, or turning the bathroom light on or off. By encouraging independence now, you'll help your toddler grow into a confident preschooler.

Interruptions are a way for your child to ask for your attention. It's annoying – but effective!

A toddler most often interrupts when her parents seem to disappear (in spirit if not in body) for long periods, such as during telephone conversations or computer sessions. Try to remain present with your child by limiting those kinds of activities unless she's napping or deeply absorbed in play. When you're busy, maintain contact by ruffling her hair and looking over and smiling at her.

Saying "just a minute" is rarely effective because your 22-month-old has little idea of how long a "minute" is. And a minute feels like an eternity, anyway! Do a quick check to make sure she doesn't need anything more than attention – for example, a fresh diaper.

Don't give in right away. It only teaches your child that interrupting is socially acceptable and effective. But keep your expectations realistic. A two-minute phone conversation? Fine. Half an hour? Too long for a toddler to tolerate.

What to do with all those clothes your child seems to outgrow every three months? Consider a clothing swap with neighbors, a playgroup, or another social network. Have everybody bring what no longer fits and trade for new items. You could also turn old clothes over to a consignment shop or donate them to charity.

Of course, if you're planning to enlarge your family, you'll want to hang on to some of them. Store outgrown clothing in boxes labeled by size and season for easy access later.

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 22 Months, Week 1

Your toddler can probably hop off the bottom step of a staircase by throwing one foot forward and letting the other follow. But true jumping, where both feet leave the ground at the same time and then land squarely, is a skill that requires excellent balance and may take a few more months to master. You can help your toddler practice two-footed jumping by letting her bounce on a bed or low trampoline while you hold both her hands.

By now your child will begin to have particular ideas about what he wants to accomplish – such as pushing a toy lawn mower down a path. When you disrupt your 22-month-old's plans, he's apt to get upset. You'll see he's pleased when he's successful and frustrated when he's not. It's all part of his burgeoning independence.

Praising attempts, not just accomplishments, can help him learn to cope with disappointments. For example, if he's struggling and on the verge of tears, you might say, "I know it's hard to get that shoe on, and you're trying really hard." Or, "You look mad. Can I help you?" Mix challenging activities with those that boost your child's sense of pride, such as stacking chunky blocks or helping you water plants.

Try not to rush to your child's rescue if he's mildly frustrated. Jumping in to do it for him can foster dependence and diminish his confidence. Your challenge is to balance your natural desire to help and protect your child with his need to tackle new tasks.

Power struggles seem to lurk around every corner and over the simplest requests, thanks to your child's willpower and strong opinions. How can you avoid them – or at least make them more manageable?

Distraction is the key. Since your 22-month-old's attention span is probably only ten minutes or less, redirecting him or interjecting silliness into a standoff can make him forget his intractable ideas and move along to something else with minimal fireworks. Sometimes picking up your child and moving to another room – especially outdoors – will turn him around.

An especially stubborn toddler might go along with the distraction but then remember the original issue and pick up right where he left off. Even so, the ploy can buy you time to calm yourself and think about how to handle the situation.

-BabyCenter.com

Mila and her many passengers.

Toddler This Week: 21 Months, Week 4

Your toddler may suddenly develop a fear of something particular, such as insects or water. This may have arisen from an actual incident – maybe a spider dropped onto your child's arm, and his increasingly capable brain is able to remember it for weeks. Not to worry: Experts say that toddler fears and phobias eventually pass. In the meantime, there are several ways to help your child deal with his fear. For example, acknowledge how he feels and provide some reassurance: "I know you don't like spiders – I'll catch that one and put it outside."

Many 21-month-olds are hearty and adventuresome diners, but plenty of others are quite picky. Your child may get upset if two foods touch each other. She may go on jags, eating just one or two types of entrée or only white and yellow foods (bread, pasta, mac 'n' cheese). Like many kids this age, she may refuse vegetables, especially bitter greens and other veggies with a strong taste.

Try to avoid making a big deal about her eating habits. Continue to serve the family meal to your child, letting her pick what she wants from it. She won't starve, nor are these fussy behaviors likely to follow her into adulthood.

Try establishing – and sticking to – set times for napping, eating, and going to bed. A regular schedule helps your child feel more secure and in control. She can't tell time yet, so it also gives her a sense of what's coming next.

Routines make your life easier too – and not only because they simplify day-to-day planning. If your child knows what to expect every day, you'll probably encounter less resistance.

You don't have to be rigid. What's most important is that things happen in pretty much the same order at more or less the same time each day. Weekend bedtimes and morning wakeups that are roughly the same as on weekdays help keep the routine on track.

-BabyCenter.com

Yes. This is my child.

Toddler This Week: 21 Months, Week 3

Try something new: Ditch the stroller and let your toddler lead you on a walk around the block. You'll be amazed at how many times your curious explorer stops to check out small objects, such as an interesting rock, a dead leaf, or a parade of ants. Your toddler isn't trying to drive you crazy by dawdling. To her, the journey – and everything along the way – is as exciting as the destination.

Whether being silly, throwing a tantrum, or banging a drum, your child may seem like a revved-up ball of energy with an uncanny ability to keep going and going. That's actually a good thing, because kids learn through repetition.

But because children this age live so much in the moment, your 21-month-old has a hard time shifting gears from one activity or mood to another. He just can't stop himself when he's on a roll. You may even notice this tendency in your child's fine motor skills. He might scribble right off the paper or paint his arms or the easel as well as the drawing pad in front of him.

The typical 21-month-old has developed some decent self-feeding skills – like filling a spoon with food and getting it into his mouth, spearing food with a fork, and drinking from a cup. Whether your toddler is willing to use those skills consistently at the family table is another story.

Depending on your child's temperament, he may already be turning into a much tidier eater – or far from it. By his second birthday, he might find it distressing to spill a drink or get food on his hands or clothes. On the other hand, he might continue to use food like finger paint for months to come.

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 21 Months, Week 2

Your toddler's personality is becoming more apparent every day. At the playground, does he run straight for the swings, seesaw, or slide without a second glance at the other kids? Or is he more circumspect, sticking close to you and sizing up the situation before settling on what to do? Understanding your toddler's reactions to new situations will help you prepare your child for preschool and other activities.

Sharing isn't one of your child's strong suits. Don't expect her to master this social grace until later. Right now your toddler is just learning about ownership: "Mine!" She isn't inclined to hand over her possessions, partly because she doesn't have a good understanding of time (when will I get it back?) or reciprocity (you do something for me, I'll do something for you).

Praise your child when you see her offering a toy to a friend or a baby. Model sharing, and use words that help your child understand what it means. For example, try asking if you can play with something she's playing with. If she protests, don't force it. Just say, "Can I have a turn?" With this back and forth, your toddler will start to get an idea of what sharing means.

Don't insist on sharing or set up turn-taking during playdates. Nor is it a good idea to hand over your child's toys to a visitor. Put out toys with lots of pieces (like blocks), and let the kids work out who uses what as much as possible.

Criticize behavior when you must, but avoid criticizing your child. Pointing fingers does little to teach proper behavior. Try phrasing statements to make clear which behaviors you like and which you don't: "I don't like that screechy noise you're making. Please use a quiet inside voice, like this." "I don't like it when you unroll the whole roll of toilet paper." "I like it when you come right away when I call you."

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 21 Months, Week 1

Your toddler may be tired of sitting in her highchair, now that she can climb on and off chairs by herself. Think about buying a kid-sized table and chair set, so she can feel like a grown-up at mealtimes (they're also great for art projects and snacks with friends). You may even catch her trying to climb out of her crib – a frightening moment for any parent. Don't be too quick to ditch the crib, though. Consider making it safer before you take on the challenge of moving your toddler to a bed.

Being awakened by terrified screams is unsettling. Toddlers don't have nightmares as often as preschoolers and older kids do, but if yours has one, he's likely to be wide awake and have trouble getting back to sleep. Reassure him by rubbing his back or holding him. He may be agitated and frightened. Hand him a favorite blanket or stuffed animal for further comfort.

It can be tempting to bring an upset child back to your bed, but this could start a habit that's hard to break. Most kids will drift back to sleep with TLC and forget all about the nightmare by the next morning.

Night terrors are different from nightmares. During a night terror, your child's eyes may be open, and he'll move around, often thrashing, crying, and screaming.  Night terrors are uncommon, but scary if your child has them. Typically you can't wake or easily soothe your child, which makes you feel helpless. And your child may appear to be awake, but he isn't.

Don't worry, though – night terrors aren't harmful. If comforting helps your little one during a night terror, it's fine to offer it. Don't force physical contact, however, or try to restrain your child. Stay close, stay calm, and make sure he doesn't hurt himself. He'll soon fall back to peaceful sleep.

Toddlers like things "just so." Along with tantrums and exploration, obstinacy is a hallmark of this toddler stage. Respect your child's preferences and interests, and let him make some choices, such as which jelly to spread on toast or which shirt to wear. Make it clear that some things – particularly behaviors that affect safety – are not up for negotiation.

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 20 Months, Week 4

Don't let your toddler's unpredictable behavior keep you from enjoying an occasional meal out. Treat yourself! Choose a family-friendly restaurant – any place with a kids' menu, crayons and paper, and a din loud enough to drown out squeals and whines. Take along a few small toys and snacks (crackers, cubes of cheese, cut-up fruit) to keep your toddler occupied. These diversions should buy you enough time to enjoy most of your meal.

Pacifier and bottle use often linger far into the second year. With moderate use, neither will harm your child at this age. But if she always has one or the other in her mouth, it may be time to modify or squash the habit. Here are some ideas for modifying or quitting these toddler pastimes:

Still uses a pacifier: Try limiting pacifier use to naps and nighttime, and praise your child when she manages to go without. Find ten effective ways to help your child give up the binky on our pacifier page.

Still uses a bottle: Start by limiting bottle contents to water, and serve milk and juice only in a cup. Allow the bottle only at the table or in the highchair, so your child doesn't carry it around all day or depend on it to get to sleep. Encourage comforting substitutes, like a blanket.

The hard-to-give-up bedtime bottle is definitely worth banning, because milk sitting on the teeth all night causes serious tooth decay. If you want to keep a bedtime bottle for now, it's fine, as long as it contains water. You can simply hand your child a bottle of water at bedtime and she may be fine with it. Or, ease the transition by substituting water for part of the milk very gradually, a little more each time.

Frustrating though it may be when your child freaks out over a broken cracker, it's normal. She's developing strong ideas about the way things are supposed to work – and that's a good sign. Once a toddler figures something out (crackers look like this), she doesn't like it to change, especially when it's as comforting and familiar as a favorite snack.

Be patient. Eventually she'll learn to take the little disappointments and transitions of daily life in stride.

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 20 Months, Week 3

The average 20-month-old can learn ten or more words a day, but don't expect your toddler to utter all these words just yet. Now she's working on her ability to understand. To help her along, keep reading and talking to her. Freshen up your book routine by taking her to storytime at your local library (she'll love hearing someone new read to her). When running errands, narrate your activities and ask her to point out objects you spot, such as an umbrella or flower.

If you're expecting again, the last trimester – when you can point to your big belly – is an ideal time to share the news with your toddler. Take advantage of this time to help your toddler get prepared. Talk about the baby to get him used to the idea. Even though kids this age don't really understand the concept, hearing you talk about it does lays the groundwork for what's to come. If you plan to move your toddler out of the nursery or have him share a room with the baby, make the switch or add a crib well in advance of your due date.

Visit friends with newborns, if you can. Check into a sibling-preparation class at your hospital. Many toddlers find babies interesting, and you can help yours interact safely with babies he meets in public by showing him safe places to touch a baby (the feet are good) and how to be gentle. Above all, enjoy these waning weeks of your family as it is.

If washing your toddler's hair is always a struggle, consider cutting his locks short so there's less to fuss with. Wet his hair for shampooing with a wet washcloth rather than pouring water on his head. Use only a small dab of a shampoo formulated not to sting if it gets in the eyes.

Rinsing is likely to be the trickiest part, because getting even a few drops of water in the eyes bothers many small children. Try holding a folded washcloth over his eyes during rinsing. Depending on how much hair your child has, you may be able to get away with rinsing with a wet washcloth instead of pouring water. Develop some sort of ritual for distracting him during the rinsing, such as singing a silly song or having him look in a hand mirror while you do it.

There's no rule that says your child needs a daily shampoo, either. For most kids, once a week is plenty. In fact, hair that tends to be dry – such as African American or biracial hair – is much better off if it's not shampooed too often.

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 20 Months, Week 2

Your toddler won't be able to carry on a conversation just yet, but don't be surprised if he starts mimicking your telephone style with his toy phone. You may also catch him imitating the way you act behind the wheel of the car, preparing meals, or cleaning the house. This copycat behavior can be charming or potentially embarrassing. Now's a good time to pay extra attention to your own language and behavior.

At 20 months, your child may be able to run. She may also go up stairs by herself but need some help on the way down. She's probably still working on throwing a ball overhand, kicking a ball forward, and jumping – skills she's likely to master by age 2. She's active in less desirable ways as well. Small children frequently resort to hitting, pushing, biting, tugging, and other frowned-on actions to feel more important but also to experiment: What happens when I hit Emma? Will the same thing happen when I hit Jacob? Don't overreact to your toddler's behavior. If you retaliate by hitting, it teaches that hitting is okay. Calmly make clear that such actions are never acceptable – no matter how intense your child's feelings.

-BabyCenter.com

"Lluvia, Mimi!" ("Rain, Mimi!")

"Lluvia, Doh!" ("Rain, Doh!") 

"Doh" is what she calls Dolly.

Toddler This Week: 20 Months, Week 1

Toddlers are curious about everything, including their own bodies. Have you noticed your child playing with his genitals? It's nothing to worry about – unless it's happening nonstop. To cut down on embarrassing fact-finding missions in public, explain to your child that some things are done only at home in private. If that doesn't dissuade him, offer him a toy or something else to keep his hands occupied.

Your child loves to help: "Me do it" and "By self!" are two of a toddler's favorite declarations. Take advantage of that built-in desire by involving your child in simple chores.

Many jobs are beyond his ability, but he can work alongside you to help with simple tasks, such as putting dirty spoons in the dishwasher, wiping up his own food spills, watering plants, or placing napkins on the table. Taking part in household activities makes your 20-month-old feel important – like a contributing member of the team.

Toddlers don't distinguish between work and play. They just like to do. Encourage this attitude now, and your child may be an ongoing helper around the house. Be sure to offer specific approving praise, whether or not the job is done perfectly: "Wow, thanks for putting all those napkins on the plates!"

Tooth tactics

You keep hearing how important it is to brush a toddler's teeth – but actually accomplishing this feat is another story. Some tips to make the task easier:
• Try "monkey see, monkey do." Brush your own teeth at the same time so your child can mimic you – a favorite toddler activity.
• Play up the spitting part, which many toddlers love once they've mastered it. Demonstrate  how to swish a sip of water and then spit it out – and then let him practice as many times as he wants.
• Let him stand on a step stool so he can see his reflection in the mirror. Then count teeth together as you brush them. • A battery-powered or musical toothbrush may entice a reluctant brusher.
• A small, soft-bristled brush is the most comfortable.

Fluoride toothpaste isn't advisable until at least age 2, and even then only a pea-size drop is recommended. Young children tend to swallow more than they spit out, and ingesting too much fluoride at an early age can cause discoloration of the permanent teeth. If toothpaste helps your toddler cooperate with brushing, look for "baby toothpaste" that doesn't contain fluoride.

-BabyCenter.com

More rice and beans!

Toddler This Week: 19 Months, Week 4

You're no doubt getting plenty of unsolicited advice on disciplining your child from relatives, friends, and even strangers. It's understandable if you're confused: Is occasional spanking ever okay? Do time-outs work at this age? How many rules can your child handle? Whatever approach you adopt, child behavior experts say that consistency coupled with unconditional love is the key to raising a confident, well-behaved child.

What does discipline mean to you? Your definition of this fundamental part of parenting will determine your approach to it. If you think of disciplining your child as training him to do what you want him to do, you will be frustrated. On the other hand, if you think of discipline as teaching your child the limits of acceptable behavior, you will help him develop into a responsible and independent person.

To cut down on power struggles as your toddler strives for independence, make sure you treat him the way you'd like to be treated. Try compromise instead of commands — he'll respond more amicably. "You can't go outside right now," you might say if it's time for a nap instead, "but we can read a book now and take a nap and go outside later." Instead of "You must pick up the blocks before dinner," make it "I'll pick up the puzzle pieces if you pick up the blocks."

What you can do
• Establish rules, but keep them simple and limit yourself to a few — a toddler isn't capable of keeping track of more than a few basic expectations. Make your enforcement of household rules consistent.
• Maintain a sense of humor. Remember that your toddler is a work in progress and you can't expect him to always act the way you want him to.
• Spanking does not teach children anything but fear, and that aggression is a way to solve problems.
• You must find ways of setting limits (and use your words) to assure him that even when he is doing something you don't want him to do you still love and accept him. You can kindly and firmly stop him from hurting himself or someone else by saying, "No, I can't let you do that," and remove him physically from the sandbox or top of the couch, and then reassure him that you love him.

While every child operates on his own sleep schedule, the average toddler sleeps between ten and 13 hours a day. By 19 months most children have given up their morning nap, but still sleep for about two hours in the afternoon. If you find that even one nap rejuvenates your toddler to the point that he won't go down at night without a fight, you might opt to trade afternoon "quiet" time, reading or playing quietly indoors, for a nap.

Even a tired toddler will try to postpone bedtime, at least occasionally. He loves being with you, and once he realizes that going to bed means he's missing out on some household action, he'll test you with a variety of delay tactics. "More books," "Drink of water," and "Sing a song" are common refrains. These antics may be amusing at first, but they will quickly grow tiresome. Your best bet is to find a bedtime routine, such as a bath, a story, and a song, that works, and stick with it.

Does your toddler still sleep contentedly in his crib? Count your blessings! He may be perfectly happy to go down in his crib until well past his second birthday. Or he may be such a determined climber that he's already discovered he can scale the side rails — much to your dismay. To make crib-hopping as difficult as possible, be sure to remove the padded bumper and any stuffed animals or other toys that your child could use to give him a leg up and over; the mattress should also be set on the lowest level by now. Since crib climbers are at risk for injury, if your child refuses to stay in his crib you may have to put him into a bed. Or you could invest in a crib "tent," a mesh cover (they're used in hospitals) designed to keep a toddler safely in his crib.

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 19 Months, Week3

Now that your toddler can sit still for longer periods of time, reading together is more fun than ever. Asking your child to point to objects on a page is a good way to find out how much she understands, even if she can't say the words yet. And she may be able to pick out differences between similar things, like a red and a yellow balloon or a big and a small truck. Don't worry if your child doesn't say many words: A vocabulary of anywhere between ten and 50 words is normal for this stage of development.

19 to 24 Months
By now, your child can understand simple questions such as "Do you want more milk?" Though he may only be using 50 to 75 words, he actually understands as many as 200 of them and is capable of paying attention to what you say. Around this time he'll start showing off his knowledge by putting together simple sentences. These sentences will likely consist of a noun and a verb and be directly related to his life, like "Dog bark" or "Go car."

When you're reading a picture book to your child, ask him to point out particular items. You'll be pleasantly surprised when he can pick out a cow or a duck. Though he may not use the word in his own speech, he knows what it is.

Your child is also beginning to understand that his wants may not necessarily converge with yours. When you disagree with him — perhaps over which toy you want to play with during your afternoon play session — he'll understand that you may have a different favorite toy than he does. He may start to feel possessive of his favorites, letting you know which toys he thinks are "his." He'll also try to assert himself — folding his arms resolutely under his armpits when you want him to hold your hand, for example.

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 19 Months, Week 2

Toddlers love to feel like they're making an important contribution to any activity, and chores around the house are no exception. You may find your child's help makes chores more fun for both of you — or you may find yourself dismayed by how long it takes to get anything done. To avoid frustration, save important tasks for times when your toddler is asleep or away. When he's around, let him help with small chores like putting his plastic cup and bowl into the dishwasher, or tossing wet clothes into the dryer.

As you've observed, your child has learned much by imitation and is interested in doing many of the things he sees you do — especially if the jobs seem important. He may insist on helping you wash the car, empty the dishwasher, fold laundry, and so on. His desire to help, as you know, far outweighs his ability, but the more you insist that you don't need his assistance, the more he'll demand "Me do it!" So your challenge is to find ways to let him in on the act. Toddlers don't see the difference between work and play, so you might as well encourage him to help you while he's willing.

Let your toddler toss the dirty clothes and dump the scoop of detergent into the washing machine, for instance, or give him a rag so he can clean the tires on the car (or better yet, let him hold the hose — always thrilling for a child). Show him how to put dirty spoons into the silverware basket in the dishwasher, or stow his plastic plates and cups in a low cupboard so that when you're emptying the dishwasher he can put those things away himself.

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 19 Months, Week 1

When you're out and about, your toddler's favorite pastime may be running away from you as fast as she can, squealing in delight as you rush to catch up. She's oblivious to danger, so you'll need to be extra watchful of cars, bicycles, and dogs if you take her for a walk outdoors. Keeping her strapped into a stroller is safest, of course, but that's not always where she wants to be. You'll probably have to compromise about how much time she spends on her own power, and build in extra time when running errands.

This could be a good time to gear up for toilet training. Watch for signs of readiness, which include showing interest in other people's bathroom habits and being able to follow simple instructions. (See a complete list of readiness signs.)

Also consider whether your child is experiencing any big changes in his life at the moment, like a new sibling or a new caregiver. If he is, you may want to wait for things to settle down before introducing the potty. Finally, make sure you have time and patience to deal with toilet training right now.

At this early age, a freestanding potty chair that lets your child's feet touch the ground is probably your easiest option. Eventually, a toilet seat insert might do the trick, but to use the toilet insert independently your child has to be big and coordinated enough to climb onto the toilet himself from a step stool.

If you think the time is right, get practical tips and techniques in the ABCs of potty training. And if you're eager to jump-start the process, consider this interesting method that some parents swear by: potty training in three days or less, designed for kids 15 to 28 months old.

It's no fun to have an early riser who wants to get up before you do. Make sure your child's room is conducive to morning sleep, with shades to keep out the early light. If he's waking earlier and earlier, try adjusting his bedtime to a later time or shortening the daytime nap.

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 18 Months, Week 4

You can practically see the lightbulb go on when your toddler first figures out how to fit the pieces of a puzzle together. Simple puzzles, nesting blocks, and stacking toys not only draw on your child's mental resources, they help refine his fine motor skills (which until now have probably taken a backseat to more physical activities like running and climbing). While your toddler will continue to burst with energy, he's also more interested in sitting still longer, especially when there's a problem to be solved.

Some days it may seem as though the littlest things set your toddler off. You serve his morning milk in the "wrong" cup and he throws it at you. Or he wants to go barefoot, even though it's raining outside, and screams his head off when you insist on putting on his boots. What's going on? Sometimes the triggers will be more obvious than others. He may be tired or angry. Or he may be frustrated by his inability to complete a task that he is determined to do, like putting a round peg in a square hole.

Tantrums tend to occur at the worst possible time for you. It seems like when your toddler blows a fuse you're either in a hurry to get out the door in the morning, at the grocery store with half the shopping done, or in the waiting room of the doctor's office. What do these situations have in common? They are times that a typical toddler might feel emotional overload, and like he doesn't have your full attention. If you are aware of the situations that trigger tantrums, you may be able to prevent many of them with minor adjustments or a little advance planning. Get out of bed 15 minutes earlier in the morning so you're not rushing around the house. If you must grocery shop with your child, do it when he is well rested and fed. Carry a favorite book or stuffed animal to doctor visits — anything you can do to keep him calm will help. Also remember that the occasional tantrum is a normal byproduct of toddlerhood and development.

There is no "yours" in a toddler's vocabulary — everything is "mine!" So your car keys, a sibling's beloved stuffed dog, his dad's boots, the slide at the local playground — all these things are, in the eyes of an 18-month-old, his. You can help your child understand what sharing means by praising him when he does give a toy to another child or lets another toddler go down the slide first. When reading a book or watching a video, point out examples of sharing. Try to avoid scolding him when he doesn't want to; sometimes just acknowledging how difficult sharing is will make him more willing to do so. You will have to be patient, and take comfort in the knowledge that other parents of toddlers are going through the same thing.

For a toddler, a favorite stuffed toy is a great source of comfort. He might also have some habits that soothe him — like twirling his hair, rocking, or sucking his thumb. Most children naturally outgrow these behaviors by the time they're 4, so there's probably no need for you to intervene now.

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 18 Months, Week 2

Is your child a little ray of sunshine at daycare but a thundercloud when you show up on the scene? Try not to get upset by these end-of-day meltdowns. They're signs of true love: Your toddler knows that it's safe to let out all of his pent-up feelings around you. While you may be tempted to run a few errands on your way back to the house, you should probably opt to put those tasks on hold until your child is more at ease. It's a decision that could make your evening a lot more enjoyable.

Now that your child is walking and talking, you can also expect him to be more interested in establishing relationships with other people, especially children his age. But though he wants to interact with peers, he still regards them more as curiosities than as playmates. If your child pushes, pokes, or hits his playmates, don't worry that he's anti-social, just be patient and willing to expose him to a variety of situations — the more chances your toddler has to interact in group settings, the sooner he'll develop social skills.

Try to connect with parents of two or three other children who are about the same age as yours and make plans to meet on a regular basis. Fun outings at this age include trips to "hands-on" children's museums, playgrounds, petting zoos, or anywhere your toddlers can run around freely. Just remember that for at least the next few months, even when your 18-month-old does have playdates, he's more likely to engage in "parallel" play than to play cooperatively with his friends.

An 18-month-old's top priority is to succeed at various tasks. So he constantly tests himself — and you. His failure to succeed, either because he's incapable of, say, putting on his own shoes, or because you stop him — as when you forbid him from climbing onto a chair near the stove so he can help you — is frustrating for him. This is a phase when "no" seems to be the word that you both use more than any other.

As his confidence in his own abilities increases, so does his willfulness. Your job is to gauge when you must prevent him from trying to reach a goal — for instance, because it's not safe for him to be near a hot stove — and when you should let him go ahead and try. So what if it takes you a few extra minutes in the morning while he tries to put on his sneakers? Discouraging him from trying many of the things he attempts will only make him unwilling to try new things in the future.

If you and your spouse both work outside the home, your toddler is probably used to saying goodbye to you in the morning: He rarely protests your departure the way he did a few months ago. But when you arrive to pick him up at the end of the day, you may be greeted with a screaming "throw-down" tantrum. On the other hand, this age begins a phase when many toddlers begin to behave in both cooperative and caring ways.

-BabyCenter.com

Toddler This Week: 18 Months

One tangible sign that your child has left babyhood behind is that she's beginning to be able to hold in urine or bowel movements. Starting about now, keep a potty seat around so your child can gradually get used to the idea of using it. Don't push it, though — while some toddlers may be showing signs that they're ready to try, many others won't be ready until they're 24 months old or even older.

Many experts say that 18 months is too young to start toilet training; many grandparents say, "We potty trained you at 1!" Who's right? Of course it depends on the child, and some are in fact ready to begin the process now. But before you start trying to make this enormous transition, look for some signs of readiness. The sensory awareness that allows a toddler to recognize the need to empty his bladder and bowels and then "hold it" until he gets to the bathroom is sophisticated. And the concept that everything has its place — including pee and poop — and the desire for orderliness usually begins around age 2 (though some children don't potty train until much later).

At this age, a low-key approach is best. Toddlers learn by imitation, so start by letting your child copy what you do in the bathroom. Let him sit fully clothed on an adult or toddler toilet seat so he can get used to the idea of sitting on the potty. If your toddler has a favorite doll or stuffed animal, you can pretend that it's going the bathroom, too, a tactic that may entice your child to try it out for himself. Keep your expectations in check, however. It may be another year before he's ready to get down to business.

Your toddler wants to know what is behind, under, and inside of everything. But unlike a few months ago, he doesn't want to just empty closets and cupboards of their contents. Now after he clears out your kitchen cabinets, your toddler will probably try to put everything back to see how it fits (though it won't look like it did before).

For now, gross motor development outpaces fine-motor development, but that's only because a typical 18-month-old doesn't want to sit still long enough to do many activities that require significant dexterity. There are, however, a few that will hold his interest: scribbling with crayons or finger painting, stacking blocks, turning knobs on doors and cupboards, and pushing buttons on telephones, televisions, and stereo equipment.

A toy telephone, or a real one with cords removed, will keep his fingers engaged (but you'll probably want to keep him away from your pricey audio-video gear!). He may also enjoy trying to slide large wooden beads onto a length of string. An 18-month-old is very interested in fitting things inside of other things. Shape sorters, nesting boxes, and even some simple wooden puzzles (puzzles where a whole object fits inside a matching slot, not jigsaw puzzles) will absorb him. One sign of his increasing dexterity is the ability to hold a cup and drink from it without spilling.

Keep a few toys handy in the back of your car to make trips to the park even more fun. An extra-large beach ball (or an ever bigger ball, like those used in exercise classes) is fun to roll across grass, and roll on. (At this stage, toddlers can't quite kick balls. They attempt to, but they don't have the coordination to do it and end up sort of walking into the ball.) He may also have the skills to push or pull a small wagon or similar toy, and to pedal a tricycle or "big wheel." If it's winter, channel some energy by stomping in puddles, or have a snowball fight, throwing the snowballs at trees or telephones poles instead of each other.

-BabyCenter.com

Mila eating mango!

Toddler This Week: 17 Months, Week 4

It will be a year or two before your toddler leaves most of his tantrums behind. Until then, expect to deal with outbursts of anger and frustration on a regular basis. You can cut down on the frequency of tantrums by making sure your child gets enough sleep and eats well during the day. It's probably unrealistic to expect your energetic toddler to sit still for three square meals a day, so try giving your child a variety of foods throughout the day. Remember, a hungry, sleep-deprived toddler is a meltdown waiting to happen.

What would the world be like if we all acted on every impulse? If adults had no self-control? Observe a couple of 17-month-olds and in no time you'll have some idea: chaos. Children aren't born with self-control, so when your toddler is hungry, he wants to eat ... immediately. When he wants the toy his friend is playing with, he wants it ... right now! He doesn't understand that screaming won't make the food come any sooner (even though this method worked when he was a newborn), or that forcefully grabbing a toy is going to upset his playmate.

Since toddlers want what they want when they want it (passionately!), explaining the consequences of their actions won't give you immediate results. But go ahead and try. Explaining things in a reassuring voice is good practice for the future and if you do it with lots of affection and physical contact, you'll make it easier for your toddler to stay calm when he needs to wait a little bit or cooperate with you.

Though it may seem impossible at times, if you are warm and patient when your toddler is most trying, you may find that he's more willing to settle down. Try to show your happiness when your toddler cooperates and complies with your requests, but be prepared to remove him from the situation if he won't.

Quick! What's the quickest way to stop a tantrum? Cave in to your toddler's demands, right? Now, what's the best way to guarantee that the tantrums will continue? Same thing. If you reward your child for "stopping" his tantrum, he'll figure it out pretty quickly. And he'll have tantrums just so he can get what he wants. But if you simply ignore the tantrum, which may be difficult to do sometimes, he'll learn just as quickly that this behavior doesn't move you and he'll likely stop. If you're in a public place such as a restaurant or store, your best bet may be to leave with him until he calms down.

It may help you to deal with your toddler's tantrums if you understand what's behind them, at least in part. At 17 months a child may want to master stacking five blocks on top of one another. Or he's determined to put his own shoes on, to ride his older sister's bike, or to eat with a fork. When he can't, he may get frustrated. Tantrums are more likely to occur when your child is hungry, tired, or over-stimulated. Sometimes a tantrum is a plea for your attention: a reassuring hug and your undivided attention can make the storm clouds go away.

Tantrums aren't easy for parents. It can be hard to listen to a lot of crying, or to have your child be angry at you. But tantrums are a completely normal part of toddler development.

-BabyCenter.com

At Toys R Us with Mommy and Tia Yaya!